我想做回以前的我

每一次在巴士無所實事時，我都想拿起手機記錄下當時的心情。我想我是個天生的勞碌命，手裡拿著日記簿就想把自己空擋的時間排得滿滿的，好怕自己一直待在家。當我聽到朋友說喜歡待在家時，我卻是恰恰相反。好奇怪對嗎？我寧願選擇一個人在外遊蕩，也不想回家。我清楚得知道理由，可是卻說不出。

最近的我，一直浪費時間與思想在一個無關重要的人身上。明明知道很傻，卻放不下。不可能的事就應該學習瀟灑的放手，這才是原本的我。他已經干擾了我思考的能力，轉移了我生活的中心。這並不是原本的我，為什麼會這樣，重複的在朋友面前提起到連我自己都覺得煩。

在這事情還沒開始之前，因為看了"女王力"這一本書之後，我了解到其實女人沒有男人也可以很獨立，可以活出自己的精彩。在這一段時間里，我好輕鬆，頭腦一點複雜的思想也沒有。到處吃喝！可是呢？現在的我還可以這樣嗎？那個以前的我到地跑到哪裡去了？我想時間可以停留在那一刻。不管是早上醒來睜開眼睛或是睡覺以前，我都是想著同一件事。

末干年後，我讀了這一篇文章之後我會覺得很傻。可是我寫下的是這一刻的心情。時間會淡忘這一切，但絕對不是現在。不停的工作可以麻醉自己，可以暫時忘記。

逃避與現實

我不明白為什麼有些人總是選著逃避，難道這樣會比較快樂嗎？不真真正正的面對現實而選著當個懦弱者，事情就不會純在嗎？
逃避也許只能用在給自己喘氣的時間，長久下去只會把問題擴大。有時好好的面對事情的真相，才發覺原來沒有我們想像中的那麼嚴重。

我就有碰過很多朋友，因為逃避而選著失蹤。連自己最好的朋友也不敢面對，不敢向對方說出心里的話。因為這樣到了最後連朋友都做不成。認得情感很簡單，喜歡就是喜歡，不喜歡就是不喜歡。不要執著的常識自己永遠不可能的東西，到頭來只會浪費自己與他人寶貴的時間。

突然想起我是不是要把我部落格的網址放上fb，可是最後想想還是算了。因為部落格所寫的完全是個人的感想，並不需要的到認同。也成進有一段時間，我很在乎別人對我的看法，不管是思想上或外表上。可是後來發現這一切並不重要，自我的思想和理想才使最終的目標。

Relaxing Saturday Afternoon

Christmas is coming around the corner, but I have yet to shop for any Christmas gift. To be honest, I really dislike to shop for Christmas nor birthday gifts.

These are the reasons:

1) Sometime it’s really a waste of money cos you do not guarantee your friend will like the pressie that you bought.

2) Time wastage (Looking round and round in the shopping centre, picky on the right choice was a hassle)

3) I felt that a simple birthday cake counts (I really do love birthday cakes, no matter how it is like)

Urm.. So… U don’t have to spend a lot of money on buying presents for me as I only want a birthday cake which is really simple.

Last Saturday, went out with Tang Tang again. She always like to say we so ai mei, keep seeing each other again and again. Nothing really special, it’s just a relaxing Saturday afternoon.

We had our lunch at Daikokuya @ Paragon, restaurant that is famous in different kinds of ramen. Hmm.. Not that bad but i still prefer the one located at Central. I felt that the Tamago is nicer over there.

She looks good posing with that book of mine, isn't it? Haha.. I really love the book she is holding, it's about women can still have confidence even she is in her 30s.

Original Miso Ramen. The soup base was not that bad, just that the Tamago was too salty for me. Overall was good.

This is Macha Zenzai. Japanese traditional dessert with glutinous rice balls. Although it look really good, but it was extremely sweet. So i think most of us wouldn't like it.

The lion is hang in the ceiling @ The Market Place. So Cutez..

As Christmas is drewing near, there are lotz of Christmas Trees in Orchard Road. This Christmas Tree was made up of Bears in different colors. Haha.. Hot PINK..

Small version of Beary Christmas Tree @ Level 3 Takashimaya.

轰轰烈烈的战

＂不要戰還沒開始打，就先否定自己，覺得自己會輸！＂

很多時候在感情方面，我都持有這樣的想法。因為對某些人產生好感，而不敢進一步多認識這位朋友。我讀過某本書成經提到，吃個飯，做個朋友沒什麼大不了。可是因為自己的害羞，總是無法踏出這一步。

我很羨慕那些勇敢的女生，大膽的喜歡，敢愛敢恨。我常識想改變，可是到目前為止，我還是無法成功的跨越這道牆。

為什麼戰還沒打，就先否定自己了呢？是自己的自信心被動搖了嗎？

在书里面读到的是信心所带来的魅力与自信，我也希望我能做到。提到做得到，代表的是发自内心而不是嘴巴说了就算。我知道很难，但我愿意挑战。没有踏出第一步，就不知道结果。就算失败了，也曾经勇敢过。我也不觉得自己会被取笑，因为我做了很多女人敢想却不敢做的事。这是壮胆的开始！

加油！希望很快你们会听到我的好消息！

A million thanks

It's been long since i last blog.

The feeling of re-visiting my own site is amazing. I didn't know that there are so many viewers who actually leave messages for me. It really encourage me to resume blogging and write my true feelings.

Everytime when i browse through people's blog, I felt that some are just recollecting the day activties and recording down what they did each day. It maybe really good, as you can flip back 5 years later and see the changes that you have made. Everytime when i wanted to show people how m i like last time, i will always show them my blog. I always hope that by doing so i can motivate people no matter it is on slimming topic or on other issues.

Time change, human change, so do I. But I hope that the positive characteristic of me will remain there. I am not good in expressing thoughts in English but i will try. I wanted to tell you guys that I am really good now, although i still haven't find a partner to accompany me. I have re read the comments over and over again. Although i do not know who you are and where you get to know my blog, i just wanna say a million thanks.

I have changed, to a better me and for a better tomorrow.

My next post will be my Dayz in Shanghai. Do stay tune.

(To be honest, it's quite hard for me to upload pics nowadays as my old lappy is very slow and can't even edit and resize it in photoshop. So when i have time after work, i will slowly post some.)

It is big as i can't resize using photoshop. This is the recent me taken in our company's DnD @ Shangri-La.

Health

This morning when i wake up, i sudden feel the urge to blog. Do not have any particular topic in mind, but just feel like scribbling something in this plain blog. The day before i was admitted to Tan Tock Seng Hospital due to Gastro Virus. A kind of food poisoning which may be pass by someone who have the same symptom. I suffer from serious diarrhea and vomitting. Till now i still feel weak and strengthless.

Yesterday was quite sad, as early in the morning the nurse wake me up and ask me whether i could discharged alone cos my parents were both working. I was quite lucky to ask my mum to leave me 6 bucks, so, due to not enough money to cab home. I take mrt instead. I feel giddy and wobble my way home.

When i reach office to submit the HL, i nearly broke down when i saw sim hoon and cherie. But i am glad that i reach home safe and sound. Health is wealth, do treasure our own health and eat moderately. But still sometimes, this virus can't be prevented.

Destiny helps decide everything

Every time when I am feeling lonely, I always wish to find someone who is suitable for me. I am always looking out for chances and emphasize to myself that I should wait.

But when I start to notice someone whom I like, I will keep noticing or looking out for that person. Trying to know more about him and silently observing that person. When I fall deeper, I do hope that someday I can just confess directly. This is just stages, stages from like to dislike and totally no feeling for that person.

After some time, I realize that I shouldn’t do this. I should depend on destiny. Maybe my friend is right, I do not want a boyfriend but someone who will be my companion. What I truly want is someone who can advise me when I am in a difficult situation. When I start to look deeper into this issue, I felt that it’s hard for a male who lend a listening ear if he don’t fall for you. It’s a mindset.